lifepage.html

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<h1>hey </h1>
<h5>29.8.26 12:54am </h5>
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i dont really know if anyone even reads these, to be honest... i dont think so

so, uh, this is my blog page? journal? just a place where i might put my thoughts from time to time. dont really see using it a lot in the future

i think my aboutme.html introduction is... dry? it feels dry to me. im sure i should be kinder to people online, but i dont really trust anyone. yet im shy to write about it here, i think its just the music that im listening to while writing this. for the rest of your life by twikipedia, lol

well, in addition to my aboutme page i also just wanna say that me and my friend are working on a game!! it was supposed to be a game in memory of Erik Cassel. but due to whatever shit roblox has done we decided to make it a separated game using godot engine... which means an another programming language i should learn on top of the list

i also have a game in mind. two, actually, first is a story game that takes place in an abandoned space colonizing company artes-iv where we wake up at the very bottom of it and try to make our way out of there by getting all the way to the top or something!!! honestly no idea how to turn it into a proper project, it sounds stupid even on paper

the second game is just cool rapid tagging xd

i never really wrote simple text in vscode actually it feels interesting... lkllkgkdfkglkgsawoklkgbkkdkldrkte woww mono space fonts and shit idk

i have so many stuff to work on, actually. i have, like, four or five fics to finish writing, unfinished edits in alight motion, some other stuff man i just want to play road blocks all day long and do nothing but noooooooooooooooo school starts on the next tuesday... oh shit thats pretty soon

about fics, my main pseud on ao3 is idiotware, by the way, haha. dont check it actually im embarrassed now. im not going to erase this string either

i was looking through other people's pages and to be honest at this point i can expect a page dedicated to when the one took a shit with a pretty timestamp and date, maybe a description of how it went too, lol. i guess since i can put anything here, i can put... uhh... well, im not really a fan of cooking, you know. i guess i can do some little html/css tutorials? maybe javascript? ill probably do that instead, yeah
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<h1>before the school starts </h1>
<h5>31.8.26 12:31am </h5>
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hey again. uh, dont really know what to put in the second entry here, but i guess i... just dont know what else to do right now

so, um, ive been doing my little tutorials. i wrote the first one, about pre html tag, yesterday i think? im lazy to check right now, lol. but aside from it, im also currently making another one! its about "display" css property. at first i wanted to simply explain the work of block, inline, grid, etc, but then i thought about it and decided, why wont i make about other values? i checked on w3schools and noticed a couple other ones, ill try to include as many as i can... if i figure it out how do they work myself, of course

im listening to wallsocket right now, honestly its such a good album. what i find so good it in is the jump in production budget, you can clearly hear it. like, if you take fishmonger and wallsocket, you will totally notice a difference between them two. i like both albums, not really a fan of U but i listen to it sometimes... or maybe im lying to myself, uhm

i also drew a picture for the outerweb.html page. i wanna say that this is kind of the way that i see newgrounds and... like, any profiles on social medias with low followers count. i like to call it "beginner slums", or any noun for people that only start at something. think of it like... rusty metal, unsteady wooden houses, cracks and scratches on the walls, i imagine this website in this style because only one person follows me. its my friend by the way, lol, hey soup

i also want to say that this drawing is inspired by somacguffin’s animated series on youtube about would you believe youtube. also can include weezer's pinkerton, i took inspiration from it too. oh here are the last lyrics of wallsocket

so um... school starts tomorrow, yay...! im going to a new school thats like 5 minutes of walk away from me. i had to switch because, well, i didnt score enough in total on the exam to pass and go to my previous school. i kind of do want to go somewhere else, because honestly my previous class was just terrible and i never really liked in since the first year. but at the same time, being a newbie in the highschool... something just tells me i will stay without friends for the rest of my education. it reminds me of 70% by underscores

im looking at the current state of my site and i feel like... i feel like im slowly loosing the style that i put into it. like, im looking at the tutorials.html and the display one that im currently making and i feel like the style is getting too "simple". i want to keep that exposed html code vibe and all the meta stuff, but i dont know how to put it here anymore

dont know... i dont know what else to say. i guess i said enough for this time
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<h1>#003 flare</h1>
<h5>1.9.26 12:50am </h5>
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welp, there goes the summer... honestly i wasted all of it in just playing roblox all days long and going nearly nothing. and would you look at that, i suddenly get buzy with programming on the last weeks of it. i mean, better late than never, right?

so i made the music page. um, its kind of scattered, and im planning to start properly track my listening since september, so basically since this day. i also got into the nullring, lol, took it some time. about webrings, im still waiting a reply from two other webrings, but it feels like the first one either declined me or skipped my email. whatever, im doing this for fun... i think

i also wandered a little big on neocities digital city and found some cool town. theres also a new neighbor next to me, mishy! my dear internet friend... hes still building his website and im helping him with some stuff, sometimes. he told me how he wants to stylize his website multiple times, but i dont really see his vision, and i cant pull it out of his head either, so i guess i should just wait :p

dont really want for this morning to come out, honestly. new school, socializing, new people and new building layout... nervous. you know, i find it somewhat funny to be a sixteen years old teen on this site. i recently discovered that the person next to me in the nullring is a young adult, man, i still havent found a page made by a person whos the same age as me!! or maybe i did, i probably did, but didnt check their about me page

i think i should redo some favicons, like... the lifepage one? its supposed to represent the layout of the page by the way, 2/3 text and 1/3 whitespace. i dont really like it thought, but i dont know what else to put there. i think i should make a "back to top" button? i dont really think that anyone would use this, lol, i dont think anyone even reads this page for longer than 5 seconds... if they even open it

im hungry and bored and i want to go to sleep but i dont want for tomorrow to come.

i wish tomorrow never comes!
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<h1>#004 good luck</h1>
<h5>2.9.26 10:36pm </h5>
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hiii writing this pretty early. so, despite whatever was happening and that i technically went to the new school, i managed to crawl back to my old one! weight off my chest, but two sided. the preparation in my school will be much harder and more serious, because, you know... gymnasium and everything. but at least i wont have to survive the pressure of interacting with new people that ive never seen in my life and that i do not want to interact with. oh my god1!!!

anyways, uh, my parents are now kicking my guts to sleep at 11pm and because i dont they now take away my phone and laptop. no more games with my friends, i guess... i think that if our class teacher wasnt the one that we had in the middle school, none of this would happen. i just sleep on math classes, like, thats boring... very boring. ironic cause my father wants me to go on pro math/computing science profile. i can handle computing science, maybe through force, but i can, but math, oh god.... i already struggle with BASIC math, i dont even know the multiplication table for seven (its the only table i still struggle with the most), and he wants me to go on classes where math is 20 times harder. i mean, i know some stuff, because... all fields of science are most math, including astronomy that i love and adore, but still i dont really want to wake up to that every single day.

dont really know what to do right now. i should publish content on tiktok, on youtube, instagram, ao3, but its all different type of content, and... im just lazy, to be honest. i also HAVE to focus on school right now, because i either graduate from high school and go somewhere, or i fail this life and go on the war and die there. its... pretty tough in russia with all this stupid fucking pointless war, the government has been kicking kids out of school, universities and colleges, because wow apparently a lot men die on the war. i wish it ends soon.. i dont even know what happens on the other side of it but its totally harder out there.

listened to a couple albums, lol. i wont add them to the music.html page for now, cause, you know, gotta form an opinon first before commenting. also dont wanna flood it already. its only second of steptember, haha.

i really wanna get into drawing. i hate this activity, honestly, i get irritated quickly whenever i draw something, i break pencils and rip out pages. but whenever i do it, i realize thats its probably one of a few things that i better actually do. its like.. a missing shard, cause i do art, sometimes get diverse, and its obvious that drawing would only improve my art overall. i force myself to draw sometimes. i had a whiteboard with my two internet friends, mishy and soup. we drew a lot of stuff there... mostly our roblox avatars, our clean crew main classes, our backrooms characters, cloddy :P it was fun while it lasted, and honestly whenever i look back at the drawings that ive saved i feel like i never really drew this much before. i wont leave comments on how i draw... they two say that i have my own "artstyle", but id doubt.

oh sometimes i just sit there in front of my laptop and i wanna code. i also wanna make music, or, maybe build my roblox games, but i still cant get to them. i dont even know which one i should make first, the story one or the tagging one. it feels like... like census designated and revengeseekerz by jane remover, lol, i kind of associate my two projects with her albums.
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